Songstalgia- Mr. Perfectly Fine

Mr. Perfectly Fine

Mr. "Perfect face"

Mr. "Here to stay"

Mr. "Looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away"

Everything was right

Mr. "I've been waiting for you all my life"

Mr. "Every single day until the end, I will be by your side"

But that was when I got to know Mr. "Change of heart"

Mr. "Leaves me all alone, " I fall apart

It takes everything in me just to get up each day

But it's wonderful to see that you're okay

June 2021

“I don’t understand,” My mind reels as I search the face of the man I have loved with my whole heart for the past seven years. “What changed? I thought we were so happy…”

The man I loved would have taken me in his arms. He would tell me he loves me and that everything will be okay. We would cuddle, talk about what was on our minds, and then do what needed to be done to get our relationship back to a healthy place. Instead, you scoff and roll your eyes.

“I don’t know what you want me to say. That chapter of my life is over, and I am ready for the next one.” With those words, you grab your bags and a plane ticket to Spain. Seven years of love, laughter, travel, and fun. I could never have imagined that would be the last time I ever saw you.

--

Mr. "Never told me why"

Mr. "Never had to see me cry"

Mr. "Insincere apology so he doesn't look like the bad guy"

He goes about his day

Forgets he ever even heard my name

Well, I thought you might be different than the rest

I guess you're all the same

December 2021

At first, I thought you would come back. Clearly you were having a bit of a mid-life crisis, but once you lived a life without me? You would realize how much you loved me and would come back, begging me for another chance. The reality? You have been traveling the world and living your best life.

The man I married treated me like a queen. You? You cry, saying you are sorry for hurting me and that you really do love me, then turn around, yell, and slam the door in my face. I don’t know this person. Maybe the man I married, never truly existed. All I want to know is why? Why did you do this to me?

--

And it's really such a shame

It's such a shame

'Cause I was Miss "Here to stay"

Now I'm Miss "Gonna be alright someday"

And someday maybe you'll miss me

But by then, you'll be Mr. "Too late"

February 2022

I can’t believe it took me this long. For the first few months? I knew in my bones you would come back. I even told you that you would be back in 6 months or a year, and I would welcome you. Now? I can’t imagine that ever happening.

All I ever tried to be, was the perfect wife. Maintain the house. Make dinner. Plan exciting things to do. Research new places to visit. Be a stay-at-home wife. Work full-time. Get a master’s degree. Even when you changed your expectations of me, I did my best to be perfectly yours.

--

Goodbye Mr. "Perfectly fine"

How's your heart after breakin' mine?

Mr. "Always at the right place at the right time, " baby

Goodbye Mr. "Casually cruel"

Mr. "Everything revolves around you"

I've been Miss "Misery" for the last time

And you're Mr. "Perfectly fine"

You're perfectly fine

Mr. "Look me in the eye and told me you would never go away"

You said you'd never go away

November 2022

Perfectly yours? I could never imagine. You used me. You took advantage of my love and kind heart. The past year? I have had to figure out who I was without you and your ridiculous expectations, and you know what I discovered? I don’t like your wife.

Your wife blindly followed you. She put you on a pedestal, told lies, and kept secrets to protect your image. She left behind friends and loved ones because you thought they were bringing her down. Everything she did was for you, and yet, you only ever thought of yourself.

This new version of me without you? I love her fiercely. She shamelessly does the things that make her happy, even if you had once mentioned that they were a waste of time. She has boundaries and does not allow others to influence them. She decides who is worth her time, and she has a life full of happy relationships.

She is not perfect. She went through a year of pain and regret. A year of solitude and healing. A year of self-discovery. You said you’d never go away, and when you left, that may have broken your wife. However, when you burned her life to the ground, you didn’t put out all the embers. She has been made anew. Forged in fire and pain, I am stronger, more resilient, and more brilliant than I have ever been.